Yesterday, ive learnt the need to trust my intuition.
I had a bad feeling about something today - the most evident gut feeling of these past 2 years - that i shouldnt go ahead with my afternoon plans. And i shoved them aside on the basis of having to be 'cordial' (bek offered this term) and..for old times' sake. (Yet another thing that i shouldve already learnt prior to yesterday - never do things solely for old times' sake; Your graciousness in trying to be cordial may not be reciprocated.)
It affected me veryyyyyyyyy badly; i was..heartbroken - for the lack of a better word, since disappointed wouldnt even half describe the intensity of the emotion - as i my trust in an old friend were cruelly battered to death with a blunt weapon. (Hahaaah this just sounds weird somehow xD)
ANW. Yes true we mightve ended off on a wrong note, but..nobody deserves to be treated like that.
And nobody should ever be as heartless and cruel and wicked and scheming as you.
Then i started to ponder, whyyyy on earth didnt i trust my gut feelings. It occured to me that once before, my gut feelings had indeed caused a friendship to fall out, hence a i made a revolution to never trust my gut feelings - i decided that i would rather be logical and proven wrong, then trust my intuition and be wrong.
So i started reading, how can we develop and learn whether to trust our intuition, our sixth sense, our gut feelings. And i found this:
(I was actually gonna paraphrase some content, then i remember that original wordings would always capture the intended meaning better)Intuitive Techniques
Not surprisingly, you learn the most about intuition in silence. Take a few deep breaths, relax your body, relax your mind, and ask yourself, "What's my gut feeling right now?" "How do I really feel right now? What do I really want?" and act on it. You have to be willing to act on your intuition, to trust the feelings that you have because intuition means trusting your own integrity - trusting your gut, trusting your heart. And, if you're wrong, learn from it. Experts suggest using a journal to keep track of intuitions to see how many of them are accurate, and where you tend to fall into patterns of wishful thinking or excessive worry. It is also suggested that you pay attention to your dreams as they can enhance your intuitive abilities as well.
According to Shakti Gawain, author of Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life, "the more you listen to your intuition and trust it and follow it, the stronger it becomes, so that you can really begin to feel the difference between your intuition and all the other voices that are going on inside of you." However, it is important to remember that intuition is not a substitute for reason. Rather, it is the part of your intellect that allows you to see the whole picture. Intuition acts like a bridge between your logical reasoning and the sum total of your experience-based knowledge.
That is why, i will need to sign up for yoga, and learn to meditate and cultivate my inner voice, find my inner balance, veryyyyyy soon.
A little quote worth contemplating over,
And thanks to along and bek, for giving me timely advice(s)♥ :)As of this point in time (ie 550pm on 27July 2011), I am officially 18 years 7 days 6 hours old :D
Many proclaim that turning 18 would give them a sense of liberation as they are now legal in the eyes of law for many things; cigarettes, alcohol, clubs/bars/pubs/whatnots. Except for drugs of course, that will never be legalised in Sg.
But many had failed to warn me of the sudden overwhelming sense of responsibility that i now feel day and night. One minute, i was young and 17 and still a teenager, but the next, i have turned 18, now considered a young adult, and am expected to be fully (financially) independent in a span of 3 years time. Oh damn.
Looking back on the days that ive spent being wilful and naive, i should have realised sooner that there were many beneficial life lessons to be learnt that had been staring at me in the face. (Hell they might even be dancing around, flailing their arms - if they had any - but i still wouldn't notice. Yeah, that was how ignorant i could be -.-)
Being in Sec1 has thought me not to be a pushover, and to fight for what i think is right. But of course, to contemplate and ponder thoroughly (and then contemplate and ponder thoroughly again) prior to taking a stand/making a decision. During then, i had actually seen my true capabilities; of adapting to a new and more stressful environment; of meeting (or trying veryhard to meet at the least xD) the high expectations of family, friends, and teachers; of making the best of life when nothing is going the way you want it to. Yet of course, being as foolish as i was, i had failed to instill the values and lessons that i should have learnt during that year. Now, ive got a longggggg(gggggggg.....) way to go before i can deem myself to be 'wise' in life. (Heaven help me.)
BUT. (And here i try to redeem myself heheh) I perhaps may have learnt a few worthwhile other things about people, and their individual lives, and this has, in a way, taught me to be more empathetic as a person. Working in McD for a year and a half has widened my social circle significantly. Many questioned my purpose of working at there as it would not bring much benefit to me. Others were spending time well teaching tuition, or going for attachments and internships at highly valued workplaces like hospitals and media companies, while i? Wear a (previously) banana uniform, earning abt 4 an hour. "Yeah, that soooo will look good in your testimonial -.-"
Few could have known that while i was unhappy about the shit attitude (and at times colleagues) that i face there, truly, i was grateful for having been given the chance to embark on that journey. Yes, working there might not have taught me intellectual or analytical skills that would have helped me ace my subjects, but it had exposed me to new experiences with people, and no matter how petty/small the experience might have been to others, they mattered to me. And honestly? Thats all that matters.
I made friends with people who are academically weak, but only because they had to work to support their family. Others may have more frivolous reasons for not studying such to spend more time with friends and improve his social standing, but who else could have felt the difficulties he had to go through, being looked down upon by all his 'friends'. I made friends with people who seems to lepak every night till the wee hours of the morning and emphasizing the importance of brotherhood beyond everything else, but no one could have figured just by observing that his acts are mere de-stressing methods, to let off fatigue and exasperation that he faces when dealing with work, 7 younger sisters, and a single pressurizing mother.
Undeniably, the lifestyle of some of them are often frowned upon by society and people would advice you from befriending them. But being around them has brought me out of my bubble of being around Rafflesians and into the real-er life people have out there. (Ive always had this personal though, that if i had entered a neighbourhood school - and really i am not trying to be elitist here - and that one day i kena hang and slapped like my sister did, i would have just cried and get counselled and died mentally. I never would have survived school then xD)
Well, ive got 6 years worth to exemplify my point of learning/not learning what i should not have/have, but listing everything down would just make me too nostalgic, so ill pass x)
ANW. SO. Now, i am who i am. Ive got my mistakes, of not being who i could have been, but ive got my plus points too, or so i hope i do have. I shall not sell myself here but yes, for people who have seen my plus points, i truly appreciate your existence in my life. It is blatant that i am short of certain essential skills (like writing an atleast30marks GP essay) but for your graciousness in seeing through my weaknesses and finding my strengths, i pray that there are 10 others who can do the same for you.
For when i feel like a nobody, you guys remind me that at the least, i can bring smiles to people's faces. And that's meaningful enough for me♥
(What can i say, im easily satisfied at times xD)
To end of, here's a little reminder:
Youve just gotta find it :))#thankyewforbeingmyfriendsyouawesomezpeoplez~~
(And now its 841 pm, hence i am officially 18 years 7 days and 8 hours old xD)
#foreveryoursAt one point in your life, you'd definitely would have done some shit that you'd never want anyone to know. Not your friends, not your family, and perhaps not even that potentially-a-husband boyfriend of yours.
No one likes to dish their dirt out. But does keeping things to yourself makes you a fake two-faced untrustworthy unreliable bitch?
Who are you to judge? Whats your secret?
Dig deep within. Realise that nobody is perfect. Then next time, before you judge someone based on what you see, what you read, or what (stupid) gossips you hear, ask yourself "Am i so godlydamned perfect such that i have the right to judge and condemn him/her like that?"
Often, the ans is no.
I either can't make up my mind on what to write, or I can't seem to finish writing the great things that I'd started to write. Either way, I need more words on this site.
But for now,
Yayyy~~! :D:D:D(andddddddd..rmb that smiles will always make someone out there happy to see it, so smile on!)
#tryingtomakelifework
There's a good side to every individual - a side that's trustworthy, righteous, compassionate; funny, bubbly, lovely; loyal, honest, and true.Simply put, there's a beautiful humane side to every individual.
You've just got to find it, unleash it, and feed it for it to grow :)
Cleanse your Chi♥
It'd be much easier if i could just [Click] and drag you to the [Recycle Bin] compartment of my brain. Definitely will save me these emotions.
I will not whine. I will not whine. I will not whine. :)
My Idea of a Perfect Date ;D
